LIFE IN SPAIN FOR WOMEN
Before I moved to Spain, I’d heard a lot about the macho society here. About how men rule the roost and the home – not to mention the businesses. I had been told so much about this, that I was a little worried about how I’d fit into society here. After all, I had worked in a professional position my entire working life, in a very difficult industry. I had worked in IT, managing mostly software developers – another male-dominated segment of society!
On the surface of things, it would appear that the doubters were right. You certainly do not see women in Spain in the bars very often in our small village, except with their families at fiesta time. Indeed, I remember the first time my husband and I went into a local bar together – yes, partly the stares were due to us being strangers, but the fact that a woman was in the bar? Drinking a beer? You could see the disapproval in some of the faces of the old boys.
It’s true that older women in the villages are probably more traditional than we are used to, and spend a lot of time in the home. But if their husbands spend too long in the bar? They walk right in and haul them out! It’s a scary sight.
Speaking of scary, a women here can cut down a man with a glance. There is no need for a girl to say anything; one fiery glance from her will tear the heart right out of a guy’s chest! So men here expect foreign women to be the same, and the usual English way of just ignoring a guy you don’t want to talk to does not work here – unless you’re rude to them, it’s practically a come-on!
Women in Spain are amazingly forthright, too.
Have a medical problem? They want to know what it is!
Don’t have kids? They want to know why – although in fairness they expect you to be just as curious in return.
And I’ve never lived anywhere where the women are so clean. They not only clean their house every day, they sweep and mop the road in front of their house. This means that the streets are always clean. Woe betide you if you don’t follow this unwritten rule – you are soon chided to get out there and mop that road!
But their stern nature aside, women in Spain are incredibly warm and caring. When talking, they want to touch your arm. And if you are suddenly widowed, all the women gather round to make sure you are staying busy. They include you in activities and their family life until they are sure you are OK.
I kind of like that.
Ann Larson – Culture Spain
Ann is American, lives at Casa Tyr in Andalusia with her husband and runs a farm, whilst making Yunquera Gold olive oil and Lujos handmade soaps and natural skincare products. Ann has lived for many years in Spain, knows the country and its people intimately and writes about the reality of living in Spain and how Spanish culture affects the lives of women in Spain.
The wonderful thing about the curiosity is that it’s so utterly genuine. It’s very different from polite enquiries made as social noises in the UK – and if you ask someone how they are be prepared for them to tell you in great detail, and expect the same from you in return!
Funny how the so-called macho societies are actually run by women.
There used to be a huge Irish pub on the north side of Shepherd’s Bush Green in west London. I used to wait at the bus stops outside it every day for my connecting buses. I rarely went in – they had a habit of having whip-rounds for ‘the struggle against the oppressor’. Declining to contribute was unwise.
In the evenings, it was not uncommon for the door to burst open, Wild West-style and an unfortunate chap emerge, being propelled at a run across the road and launched over the fence onto the park by firm hands and strong arms gripping collar and rear of trousers
The no-nonsense colleen – for it was indeed a she – would march back into the pub smacking her hands, whilst yer man would be lying bewildered in the grass.
Chris – us poor men, wherever we are in the world, live on just illusions of sexual supremacy…